Complete Yourself

I may only be 42 years old but I have lived a very long life. I have experienced more things than I can count that have shaped me into who I have been and now I'm spending a great amount of time reshaping myself into who I was meant to become.

Sadly, the many negative experiences in my life have turned me into a not so trusting woman. Funny thing is what I have learned is it wasn't people in my life that I didn't trust. It was myself I didn't trust. I didn't trust that people were who I thought they were. I got caught up in their actions not realizing that some actions have nothing to do with me. Everything is not black and white. Once I had no self esteem. I worked through that in my twenties and found it in my thirties. Then I realized at 35 that every decision I made was based on my ever present search for love. When this revelation came to light I looked around and found that I had love all around me. Now I'm in my forties and the real work has begun. I've noticed that my relationship with my mother and family and the former loves in my life created things in me that cause me to constantly feel like every time someone does something it's in an effort to hurt me. I've learned that nine times out of ten the actions of others though it may effect me, has absolutely nothing to do with me. It's their way of dealing with their own issues and I just so happen to be in their lives and sometimes caught in the middle. That is to say that the good people in my life aren't out to get me. There have been plenty who were but those were bad people and bad people have problems that none of us can fix. Those types of people you need to just excuse them from your life and pray for them.

There are plenty of us out there that want to meet some special person and fall in love but for some reason can't seem to get it going. Here's what I have learned. Love yourself! Complete yourself! Like yourself! Enjoy yourself!

If you love yourself truly you will never settle for anything less than what you are worth. No one should complete you but you. You should always be all that you need. We live and die with one person and one person only.......ourselves. Let that be enough for you and you will find that you will gain much more than the love you seek from others. It isn't just enough to love yourself, you really need to like yourself. Like yourself through and through. You need to like the person that you are and if you don't, do what it takes to become not only the person you can like but you can be proud of. Most of all, enjoy yourself. Find every way possible to enjoy yourself everyday. Find joy in everyday of your life. Life will always have it's ups and downs but even during the downs, know that nothing is happening to you, it is happening for you.

The best way to find the love you are trying to seek is stop looking. Yes I know easier said than done but I've heard it time and time again. Most people find the love of their lives when they stop looking for them. Live your life. Have fun. Focus on you and know and trust that when the time is right, that special person will come. Put yourself out there. Go out on dates. Find fun things to do. Spend time with friends. Enjoy your life. Become within yourself the type of person you want to be with. If you want to be with a successful person then focus on your own success. You will attract to you the type of person you are. So if you aren't doing so great in life you might want to rethink your search and start concentrating on yourself so that you attract the right person in your life.

Remember these simple rule of thumb: Every person you date and have a relationship is simply a place holder. They are holding the place of the person that is meant to be your one. Keep this in mind every time you experience a break up. It will help you get through it better. Your ultimate goal is to find the one person that will give you butterflies for the rest of your life.

Be your best date. Enjoy your own company. People laugh at me every time I say I'm my best date but it's true. I enjoy my company. We like the same things. We don't fight and we have a blast together.

Remember your I Am's: I am fabulous. I am grateful. I am worthy of love and respect. I am love. I am successful. I am filled with abundance in my life.

You have to walk the walk. Talk is cheap people and it's very dangerous. Don't allow yourself or anyone around you to speak negativity in the universe about you. Negativity even if it is reality breeds more negativity. I was watching a reality TV show earlier today. The main characters were getting married. When they said their vows the bride opted out of saying "For Richer or Poorer" and said instead, "For Richer and Richer." I thought to myself in that moment, "I don't blame her. Why speak negativity into your future?" That is the type of thinking you need to adopt. Nothing but what you want should come from your lips. If you feel like crap when someone ask, "How are you feeling?" Say you are feeling great. You may not feel great but if you continue to talk about how crappy you feel you will feel nothing but crappiness. Mind over matter. Law of attraction. Whatever you choose to call it. Speak only the positive things you want out of your life and everyday find a reason to smile. Find your zen and do whatever it takes to keep it. As Joel Osteen would say, "When you are in peace, you are in a position of power." That's where the true blessings of life appear. Right smack in the middle of your peace.