Modern Technology is Ruining the Dating Scene

Let me just say ahead of time that this particular post is geared more towards the ladies. It will for sure stir up a bit of controversy so be prepared. There is a comment box at the bottom. Feel free to speak your peace. Just be polite and respectful please. That's all I ask.

My longest relationship was thirteen years. I have been in the dating pool now for two years. The world of dating has changed so dramatically. Now before my thirteen year relationship I was in a six year relationship. I had a four year break between the two. I dated a little between the two but nothing really stuck. I say that to say I don't have a lot of dating experience. I have a lot of relationship experience.

In the old days, you know those days, the 80's and 90's, the way you met someone was not on the Internet but out in the world. Someone would say you could meet someone in the grocery store. I have yet to meet a man in the grocery store. Some people met in bars and clubs. I went out to bars and clubs, oh wait, most of the time when I was in a bar or club it was with my gay brother, certainly couldn't meet any men there though they all were really cute. Sometimes people just met while doing something else. That's how I met my late husband. I walked into the music store he taught Piano in and he came out and asked to assist me. I was pretty sassy with him and told him, "No!" The next thing I knew Mr. Persistent found a way to strike up a conversation. 17 years later we had been best friends for four years and was a couple for 13.

Now I'm single and in the world of online dating. At first I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't want that to be my story. Rather I wasn't sure I wanted it to be my story. Well eventually friends talked me into it and it became my story a couple of times. This post isn't really about the relationships I've had with men I have met online. What I want to talk about is what I have learned and how I believe technology has ruining the dating scene and if women don't step up and make changes within themselves the dating scene will only get worse.

Here is what I have learned. Men have developed an enormous amount of guts. They hide behind technology and now have become these big jerks that have no respect for women and say some of the most unbelievable things and send pictures of things you can't believe. Text messages seem to be the only way men want to communicate. No one wants to go out on dates anymore. Everyone just wants to hang out. Technology has paved the way for men to hide from rejection and have made them and everyone anti-social and relationships impersonal.

Women this is our fault. We all need to step up and demand more. First of all. If you are a woman who is allowing men to speak to you in a foul way. Stop it! Take more pride and have more respect for yourself. No man should be allowed to tell you what he wants to do with you or tell you what he is going to do to you two seconds after you have met. What you do when you are in a monogamous relationship is your business, anything before that.......have some respect for yourself and don't tolerate it. No man is that cute. Trust me there are plenty of cute men out there that actually know the proper way to speak to a lady. You teach people how to treat you. Stop talking to men that don't know how to talk to you.

Second.........Knock off the text messaging. Do you want a pen pal or a partner in life? Really, we all need to make men step up to the plate. Me included! All this darn text messaging has gotten out of hand. Not only is it impersonal but it also paves the way for all kinds of misunderstandings. It also makes it really easy for men to do whatever they want without you having a clue what they are up too. It takes the same amount of time to pick up the phone as it does to text. Demand it! Women want to hear a mans voice not read his text unless it's, "I'm on my way!" or "Sorry I'm running late!" Anything other than a text like that needs to be a phone call. Let's get back to interacting with each other as oppose to our phones having a relationship with each other. Text these words the next time a man text you to have a conversation, "Call me for the answer." "Call me and we can talk about it." "Call me to communicate." We teach people how to treat us. Let's start teaching men they need to get over their fears and become more personal. Rejection is a part of life. Get over it already.

Before I leave this point let me also mention if you don't know where they live and how to find them they shouldn't know that information about you. Keep things even. It's nice that he wants to come to your house and hang with you but if you can't go to his house and hang with him be suspicious. Nothing feels worse than having someone poof disappear on you and you have no way of finding them. I'm not talking stalking. I'm talking we women get concerned. There could have been an accident. Now he's in a coma and you have no way of knowing anything about it. You can't go looking for someone you don't have basic information on. I know that's extreme but think about it. What is he hiding if you can't get basic information?

Thirdly, stop having sex so quickly. OK! Stop having sex so quickly if you are trying to find a man to fall in love with. I'm not opposed to sex. I love it like the next person but it appears to me that women are so liberal in their sexuality, I happen to think this is a great thing by the way, that it blurs the lines. If you aren't looking for a relationship have fun. I'm not judging. More power to you. However, if you are looking for a relationship wait. Take your time. Nothing sucks worse, I've been told, than to wake up next to someone and wonder what did you do or what do I do next. I've never had a one night stand or anything of that nature so I can only go by what I've been told on that particular feeling. I was to much of a rule follower when I was young enough to do what most young adults do. I didn't allow myself to color outside of the lines when I was younger. If you are looking for a relationship give yourself time to know if you really like the man and really want to have sex with him. You have to spend a considerable amount of time with him in order to know that for sure.

Finally, stop hanging out! Hanging out is all fine and good but the problem is men have stop taking women out on dates. Men have stop courting women. I'm a single mom. Dating is hard to do when I don't always have babysitters but I want to be taken out on a date. I want to get to know you and spend time with you in a dating fashion. It doesn't have to be all of the time but it needs to happen a good portion of the time.

Ladies remember, in order to know if the man you are with is going to work for you in a relationship, you need to live together. Now I'm not saying share a home together. I mean live in each others lives together. You need to spend time together in different environments. There is a whole world outside of the iPhone. Strange I know but it's true.

Women you deserve more. Demand more for your life. Nothing is happening to you, everything is happening for you. If someone has left your life. Don't chase them down. God very well may have taken them away to protect you. If they are meant to be in your life they will be. Trust yourself! Trust that you can make good decision. Trust that if things don't go your way you can dust yourself off get back up and ride the horse. Life is a journey. Live it. There will be good days and bad but you will survive them all. Enjoy each day no matter what it brings. Be thankful for the lessons bad times teach. Most of all know that you are enough and never ever settle. Trust that God has the right person out there for you. We all need to stop putting up with the crap. Nip crap in the bud the first time ladies. Don't be worried about what if I loose him. If you loose a man in the beginning because you checked him when he did something you didn't appreciate he most definitely wasn't the man for you. A real man will take the note and apologize. Period! No one is perfect. It's not what you do but how you handle the situation that counts. Bright side! If he leaves in the beginning your heart is fine. You found out immediately that he wasn't the right one. Think of all the time and headache you just saved yourself by nipping an issue in the bud from the beginning.

Be strong women! Be confident! Be trusting of yourself! Most of all..............Be respectful of yourself! Learn to love yourself completely. It is when you reach complete love for yourself that you will no longer except anything less than a man that loves you the way you deserve to be loved.

Let's stop the none sense!

Before I go let me just say that I don't believe that every man on the planet is this way. There are plenty of good men out there. The problem is most women aren't finding them because they are so busy catering to the knuckle heads or not loving themselves enough to know their worth. A man will do what you allow him to do. Period! Good man, bad man it doesn't matter. They will do what you let them so stop letting them miss treat you.

Tell me how you feel about this. Do you have anything to add? Did I miss any good points? Let's talk about it.