Intuition........Silence it!!

I have always listened to my intuition once I understood what it was. It's that little voice inside your head that tells you to do things or not do things when you are consciously unsure. Some say it's God's voice telling you what to do. A whisper from the man above.

When I was a kid learning to follow, I learned very quickly that if I listened and obeyed I dodged huge bullets. When I got older I became a pro because I learned that my instincts and intuition was never wrong. I use my instincts to guide me when I'm confused.

Life is filled with so many situations where you find yourself confused and not sure what it is you should be doing. Should I quit my job, leave my partner, let my kids go, get in that car or spend that money? I'm the type of person that doesn't believe in making rash decisions. I need to think things through before I make any decision because I am a person who's imagination runs wild. My head goes in places that most would not go.

When I was younger, if someone said, "We need to talk!"I immediately thought that it was something bad. Most of the time it was. I was well trained in expecting the negative. In dating when my boyfriends would not open up about how they felt about a situation, I would think they were trying to keep something from me. I now know men clam up like little fishes for a bask array of reasons, because of their own insecurities. Yes ladies it has nothing to do with us, unless you are that woman that likes to throw things in your mans face. If you are, he clams up because he doesn't want to hear your mouth later. When you are young your emotions run high and your imagination run wild. The only way I knew how to handle heavy situations where I was confused and conflicted was by listening and following my instincts.

I believe that part of the problem a lot of us have is we don't trust ourselves. We don't trust that we can make good decisions. We don't trust that we can do the right thing when pushed to do so. We don't think we can trust ourselves to pick ourselves up and put one foot in front of the other when things go in a direction we were not planning. So we put up with situations we shouldn't. We stay with people we should leave. We stay in jobs we should leave. We keep friends that are toxic. We confuse ourselves about what we should be doing because we are not focusing on how we are feeling. We betray ourselves instead of taking care of ourselves. We aren't listening to our intuition and following God's subtle clues.

Prime example: We all have had this relationship at least once in life and if you haven't you are truly blessed. We are with someone we love. The relationship has gone on for sometime. It doesn't necessarily have to be a bad relationship or be with a bad person but things are happening in your relationship that is not healthy for you. Rather than pull the breaks on the relationship or at least nip the situation in the bud, my common mistake, you continue on and hope for the best. Things don't change and don't get better they just get worse. Now you are at a stalemate. What should you do. Friends say leave the person. Your heart says you aren't ready to loose them. Your ego tells you to hit the road. Problem is the decision may be as simple as take a step back and give the person space to get themselves together. Take a step back to get yourself together. It could be walk or wait. Sometimes we have to go through things for awhile before we get a clear answer. There is always a lesson to be learned.

When you are in love feelings play a big role in every decision you make, in everything you do. Here's the thing. We all, if we haven't learned it already, need to know how to take all those feelings and weed them out to hear the voice. What is the voice trying to tell you? Silence everything so you can hear. Your heart is breaking and that will cloud your judgement because you don't want to feel that pain and the pain is so heavy. Learn to silence it. Your ego pokes it's head out and starts to spout anger because people around you have made you feel stupid for the decisions you have made and now your ego is bruised and pissed. Learn to silence it. Fear has settled in and is screaming about how you will never love again or you will die inside without them. Learn to silence it. All of these things may be true for you but silence it.

Now listen! Shhhhhhhh!!! Listen closely! Do you hear that? Do you feel it? That voice you hear and that feeling you feel is the truth of what should be done. Dr. Phil said once, "You know when you are done with a person when you no longer feel angry about them." I've never forgotten that. I have found myself in situations with people, not just partners but friends and colleagues also, where I have had to decide whether or not to walk away from them. I have gaged my decision on one hard and fast rule. How do I feel. One did I do all that I could do to make the situation better to stay in the relationship? Two when I sit quietly how do I feel about that person being out of my life for good? Does it feel like I'm not done with them or do I not care and feel like I could survive without them. Most importantly I check to see if I am at peace. If I'm at peace I know I'm okay. But what if you just aren't sure? Take your time and pay attention to the signs around you.

I once was in a relationship where there was a misunderstanding and the guy took something I said as if I was leaving him. He was feeling guilty about not being able to provide what he felt I needed, a man thing for sure, and became very sensitive about how he thought I was feeling. He retreated because that was how he handled things. I didn't hear from him for a short time. Not to long but enough time for him to get his head clear. In the meantime I had no idea if he was coming back. You can't control what other people do. You can only control yourself and how you handle things. I continued with my life and prepared to never see him again. That's how I handle things. I respect how people handle situations whether I agree or not because God knows I handle situations in an inappropriate manner myself at times. I'm not perfect. I try to accept everyone for who they are. It's not my job to change anybody. As the days went by I stop thinking of this person less and less throughout the day but I made sure to pray for him every night because he was still in my heart and I wanted him to be safe, happy, in a better situation and at peace. In my heart I wasn't done with him. I mourned for about a week and then laid it down. If it was meant to be it would be. A couple of weeks went by, not unusual with this person, and I suddenly started thinking about him more and more. I went from barely thinking about him to thinking about him constantly. I even had a dream where I kept seeing his name appear on my phone in a text. I could even hear the ring tone. I remember waking up wondering "What are you telling me Lord?" I believe in letting things go in the hands of the Lord. Now this dream appears and this person is on my mind more and more. The thought of not being done with him or the relationship was getting more and more frequent. Hmmmmmmmm!! I continued to put one foot in front of the other and continued living my life feeling great everyday and two days after the dream I received a text from the guy apologizing. I wasn't done with him and he wasn't done with me. Intuition!! I heard the phone and I wasn't surprised. It all became clear in that split second."

I had a job once. Just to drive this point home. Things were great for awhile and then they weren't. I worked hard through the season but the director never seemed satisfied with what I was doing. That year I worked harder than I ever had in the five years of devotion to this group. I was focused and determined to create and give great material. I began feeling uneasy about things. A number of signs began to appear. We had a competition and no one informed me that the venue had changed. We had an event and no one remembered to invite me but was calling me on the day of expecting me to be there. We had to go on a trip and they forgot to purchase a ticket for my daughter knowing that I couldn't go without her. One night during a banquet, I was having a conversation with a benefactor and they asked me was I going to be there the following year. This had never been a question before. I was feeling an uneasiness that I couldn't explain for awhile. Something was telling me the party was over. I loved this job and didn't want to loose it but deep down inside I knew the environment had turned toxic and was not healthy for me but I didn't want to leave. I went on break and prepared myself to not be asked back. I got a call to come in and choreograph for our normal Summer event. Yay! I'm working. I did the gig and it was a great run. I only had one minor disagreement with the director. Nothing to sweat about, it happens. With this director a lot. This director could be combative for strange reasons that you never saw coming. The gig went well. I was please and so was the director.

Months went by. The next event came around and no call. I felt that uneasy feeling again. In truth it had never gone away. It was just dim. Eventually, I finally got the call. The director decided to go in another director and didn't need me anymore. The director hired someone new. When I got this call, there were no nerves or uneasiness. There was only peace. I was done with it. I knew it was coming. I listened to my instincts and followed the signs. That's when you know what is right.

Life is not black or white. Everyone will not always agree with the decisions you make for yourself. Not everyone will understand. We are not all the same. We don't all think the same, behave the same or react the same. Always remember that. Trust your intuition! Don't care about how everyone else thinks or feels about what you are doing. Care only about how you feel and what you think about what you are doing.  If your original thought to yourself was, "She's a great girl." When life blows up and she is reacting to it remember that. If you originally said, "He is a wonderful man. He's one of the good ones." Continue to believe that when life smacks his ass and hurts his pride or ego. Don't allow yourself to be treated badly that isn't okay no matter what but remember that we all do things we don't mean to when we are under pressure or upset. Put things into perspective. Be supportive and speak up for yourself. Nip things in the bud from the beginning. Most of all use your intuition and stay true to yourself. We all stay in situations that don't feel good to us because we hope it will get better or out of fear. Rather than suffer for a long period of time, when it first starts feeling bad silence everything and listen for your little whisper from God telling you the right thing to do and don't ignore it. Your intuition/instincts are never wrong. Trust them! They know the right way to go.

Are you a person that believes in intuition? Do you follow it or ignore it? What situations have you dodged because you listened?