Grandmother by Adoption - Wisdom of My Eight Year Old

Harmonie and I were in the car yesterday heading out to run some errands and the conversation of pregnancy came up. My friend Kari is pregnant. A picture of her promoted the conversation. Harmonie said something about babies in the belly and how they come out. I told her that babies grow in the belly and come out of the koodah snatch (our pet name for vagina). Now please understand that my smart eight year old is well aware that labor is painful.

I explained to her the mechanics of the process. I told her that the baby grew in your belly in a sack called your uterus and when its time for the baby to come it burst and then water comes out. That's when you see on TV women say, "My water just broke." That means the baby is coming. Then you go to the hospital and the doctor looks for the babies head and takes it out of your pee pee." Her interrupted response was, "And the rest of the body." Oh my heavens. Laughter ensued in the car. The conversations I have with this kid. I stop laughing and agree that yes the doctor takes out the rest of the body also.

Before I could get one more word out the question came, "Does the koodah get bigger?" In my head I'm thinking, "OK! Everyone keeps telling me to start having the talk with the kid. Well here we go. I guess I'm going in." I tell her that it does get bigger, big enough for the baby to come out. Then the punch line came in like a bomb. "I'm going to adopt," she said sternly. I began to laugh. "Why?" I asked. "Because babies coming out of the koodah snatch is painful! Adoption is easier and painless." Hahahahahahahaha I laugh more. This kid is hilarious. "Yes it does! Having babies is painful and adoption is not. Getting you was painless and easy for me and Papa.
You may change your mind when you are older." "No I won't! I'm going to adopt. Babies from your koodah snatch is painful."

There you go ladies and gentleman, according to my eight year old, I will be a grandmother only through adoption. There are worse ways to become a grandma. Bright side! If she continues this thought process, she won't become a mom until she is of the proper age.

What funny but honest conversations have you had with your children? Are you a open and honest parent that speaks on your child's level or a parent that says as little as possible?